Philandering Politicians’ Wives Finally Speak Out
Satiric, Fake News Story Breaks on HumorVolcano.Com
CROSS CITY, FL – The heroic wives of lying, cheating, adultering politicians endure, usually silent, stoic, and homebound, keeping the peace for the good of the children and the country. Only recently, after the latest sordid news conferences reporting yet more politicians’ extramarital misdeeds, have the wronged wives finally begun to react publicly. So numerous now are their ranks that they’ve banded together to form the Wives of American Political Philanderers (WAPP). They include Sanford, Spitzer, Clinton, Edwards, and Ensign, to name just a few.
These women of WAPP got together for their inaugural meeting this past weekend at the Olde Dill Doe Run Resort to discuss their husbands’ despicable actions, provide each other with love, support, and encouragement, and attempt to pinpoint causes so as to perhaps prevent future infidelities in others. Although all discussions were held behind closed doors under strict confidentiality, the women did close the session by issuing the following brief news release.
excerpt:
“As our husbands’ political ambitions, accomplishments, and power began to grow, they physically began to change. With each higher electoral office attained, their bodies changed more and more. But once they reached high office – governor, senator, president – the end was near.
“For each one, their testicles had by then grown enormous, baseball-sized, but the penis had shriveled to almost nothing. The blood supply to fuel those huge balls obviously came at the expense of their brains.
“Our message to the young politicians’ wives out there is this – GET OUT! Get out now while you still can and while you still have your dignity. Don’t wind up married to a dickless old lying, cheating S.O.B. like each of us.”
